But With You
by lovecamedown
Summary: "Somehow, they found themselves walking home together. Christian walked over to Tara and gently took her hand. Without saying anything, he pulled on it, and she followed." / Alternative ending to Season 2. / Can Christian and Tara work through their issues and find a way to make it work? Will their relationship survive another summer on the farm together?
1. Still

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dance Academy.

 **A/N:** _Hello! This is my alternative ending to season 2. Set from the scene where Christian visits Tara in her dressing room before her performance of The Red Shoes. More info in the author's note at the end!_

* * *

"But with you…," Tara's sentence faded off. She knew Christian would be able to finish it for her.

And he did. "…We have history…?" He sounded unsure; uncertain.

He was looking at her with sad, hurting eyes and a very slight frown on his forehead as he stood there in her dressing room. His eyes were searching her face, trying to break past the tentative and slightly guarded wall she seemed to be hiding behind. Yes, she was being semi-honest, but this wasn't Tara. She wasn't usually this hesitant with telling him how she felt. This time, she was holding back, and Christian could tell.

She didn't reply. A tiny, uncertain smile appeared on the corners of her lips. She was looking him in the eyes now, and Christian's forehead wrinkled further. He wanted so badly to reach out to her. He just wanted to be _good enough_ for her; or at least _feel_ like he was. But there was just this wall of insecurity and doubt and heartache and fear of getting hurt that was stopping him from being completely honest with her.

Looking back, Christian realised that he'd always been like that with Tara. Except, the difference this time, it wasn't just himself he was scared of hurting. It was Tara, too. He didn't want her to be totally honest with him and lay her heart on the line, just for him to get scared, walk away and break it again. That wasn't who he wanted to be. Not to Tara. He wanted to be brave now.

And he knew that she was being hesitant for the exact same reason; she was scared. Scared he would walk out and hurt her again after all she did was be honest.

Tara finally spoke again. "Plus, he's so Ben, you know?" Christian had forgotten they were talking about Ben until he heard his name again. She continued, "he's gone through a lot of stuff but he always remains untouched, and…uncomplicated. Happy."

Christian shrugged, letting his eyes fall away for a moment. "They sound like good things."

Tara laughed a little. "They are," and then she looked down, her smile falling. Her eyes came up to meet his again. "But I don't match that anymore."

The room fell in to silence for what felt like much more than a moment, even though that's all it was. Their eyes were locked on to each other's, Christian's still clouded over with conflict and sadness and Tara's much more… _troubled_ than the last time Christian had looked in to them.

He hadn't spent nearly enough time looking in to her eyes this year. Months ago, when he still had the right to call her his, looking in to those calm, undisturbed eyes brought him a lot of peace. But now when he watched them dart around his own face, searching his features, he realised that those familiar orbs had changed. They'd changed a _lot_.

She'd cried too many tears since then. She'd been through so much since those times.

So much so that, now, it hurt Christian to look in to them.

Guilt over this whole year flooded him in an instant. He tried to speak, but it didn't come out properly.

"I…," he stammered, eyes flickering over her whole face. Her features lit up very briefly when he started to talk, almost curious to see what he had to say.

But he didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything.

Instead, he reached forward for her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tighter than he ever recalled doing before.

It took Tara a moment to respond. At first, he was the only one doing the hugging. He was hesitant to bury his head in to her neck just in case that was a move too far.

But after a minute, Tara's arms began to move underneath him, and then her arms were around him, too. She held on tighter than he expected, and they stayed like that for a long time.

"I'm sorry," Christian said, his mouth close to her ear.

She didn't say anything. She just pulled him closer; held him tighter.

Just as Christian was about to speak again, the door to the dressing room opened again, and the pair broke apart; quickly, but reluctantly.

"Okay, you've had _more_ than your agreed 30 seconds. Evaporate." Abigail said, exasperatedly waving a hand in Christian's direction, not even caring to look at him.

Christian's eyes fell on Tara's one more time before he walked out. He found her smiling, a little wider this time, and his lips even let out a tiny smile in return.

* * *

Christian had no idea how he didn't cry during Tara's performance. It was like he could _see_ Sammy up there with her; Christian just knew she was dancing with him, even if it was only in her heart. It was breathtaking and, although she was in pain and crying up there, Christian found his heart swelling with way too much love that he counted as healthy. She was so talented. So amazing. So _strong_.

Of course, he felt guilty about not being there for her all year, but the hard truth was…in the end, she didn't need him.

But the difference was, _he_ needed _her._

And when she came in to the audience before Ben's performance and took a seat next to him, Christian couldn't take his eyes off her.

They shared a small smile before she sat down properly.

Before he could even think about it, he reached his hand out towards hers and linked their fingers together.

"You were amazing," he whispered in her ear. When he leaned back, she looked down at their hands and then up at him, a new light behind her eyes that hadn't been there before she'd danced. She looked…slightly more _free_. Less troubled and at war with herself.

"Thank you," she whispered, a smile now on her lips.

He gave her hand a squeeze. She squeezed it back.

And he just couldn't help himself when he lifted up their hands and kissed her knuckles, his eyes on hers as he did so.

Man, he wanted to kiss her. Properly; on the lips. Those familiar lips. He wanted to kiss her _so bad_ , but he wasn't really sure that this was the right moment. Or even if she wanted him to. Maybe she'd be scared. Maybe he was scared.…

Somehow, they found themselves walking home together. Christian had considered walking out halfway through Ben's dance, all out of fear; fear of being hurt; fear of not being good enough for Tara.

But something that comforted him now was knowing that Tara had been through some darker stuff now, too. Just like him. Before, Christian was troubled and confused and _scared_ of a lot of things; but Tara was always upbeat, happy and free (apart from the whole fake-tan freak out at the beginning of the year, of course).

But now, she understood what it was like to feel at the lowest of lows. To be at rock bottom and somehow keep getting lower and lower.

So instead of running away like he _always_ did, once they'd both gathered their things and everyone was heading back to the academy, Christian walked over to Tara and gently took her hand. Without saying anything, he pulled on it, and she followed.

He took her out the back door and they walked by themselves in silence through a deserted park for a while. They were still holding hands. Walking slowly; as if they didn't want to get back to the academy and face everyone and every _thing_.

"So…," Christian started, looking down at the floor ahead of him. "I'm sorry."

"You've said that already." Tara reminded him softly. She was looking at him, but he wasn't reciprocating.

"I know, but I didn't get to finish. My thirty seconds ran out," he said, smirking just a little. "I guess I chose the wrong time to come and see you…"

"You do pick your moments, that's for sure."

A smile tugged on Christian's lips. "I'm sorry for that, too."

"It's fine."

"I just…," his sentence faded off. He didn't know what to say. Well, no, it was more like he didn't know how to say everything that was going through his head.

"What?" Tara stopped walking and turned to face him, curiosity written all over her still-hesitant face.

Christian's eyes flickered all over, looking at all her features, taking them in, and lastly letting his eyes settle on her lips.

He didn't say anything; no words were coming out, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't _have_ any words for how he felt in that moment; how he felt for Tara.

It was all he could do to kiss her.

He strode towards her and cupped her jaw line with his hands, crashing his lips against hers.  
Her top lip caught between both of his, he felt her kiss him back and wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer.

At first, he hadn't known if this was the right thing to do. But now that she was kissing him back with even more urgency, he knew that it was.

Their kissing was fast and desperate, but it wasn't rushed. They were savoring it. Making the most of their lips leaving and then coming back together again, just wanting more. They were making up for lost time; making up for all those times when they should've kissed _more_ and when they should've stopped wasting those moments being apart and spent them together instead.

Christian loved this girl. He loved her more than he ever realised possible. And sometimes, that terrified him. It made him want to run and run and run, never looking back, because that seemed like the safest option; to avoid letting her break his heart.  
But then he'd begun to realise that every time he did shut her out and run, it broke his heart anyway.

And it broke hers, too.

Eventually, they pulled away from each other, but Christian's hands remained on her face and hers around his neck. She pushed her hands in to his hair, both of them feeling weirdly teary.

They were both out of breath. Their eyes were closed. They felt like the only people in the darkening park

"I love you," Christian said quietly, his lips still just centimetres away from hers. "I still love you, Tara."

Tara didn't say anything, which was unlike her. Christian waited for her to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he heard her sniff and his eyes opened immediately to find tears rolling down her face even though her eyes were still closed. Her brow was brought together; her bottom lip trembling.

"Hey," Christian whispered, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. He was frowning now, too. "What's wrong?"

But he knew that, right now in their lives, everything was wrong.

"Nothing, it's just…," Tara started. She was about to wipe her eyes, but Christian did it for her, trying to catch her gaze. "I love you too, Christian. I'm just crying because…I…" She didn't finish her sentence. But she didn't need to.

As if it were instinct, Christian leaned forward and kissed her forehead, softly and slowly. She made a sobbing noise. Christian's forehead wrinkled further.

Trying to stop the tears, to stop the _pain_ , he began kissing all over her face. Her cheeks, her temple, her nose, her closed eyelids. And lastly, the corner of her lips. His own lips lingered there, and he felt her inhale a sharp breath.

"I know nothing is okay right now," Christian started, and Tara felt his voice on her lips. It made her knees go weak and her heart thump in her chest. " _Nothing_ is okay. And, you know…nothing's been okay for me for a long time…"

"I know…"

"But the thing is, Tara…you've been the one I wanted around whenever things got tough. Sometimes you're the _only_ one. For ages I've been trying to convince myself that I don't want to be with you; that you're not the one I love anymore. But…"

"…But…"

"That's not true. It never Was.… And I…I'm sorry for pushing you away."

A small, bittersweet smile broke out on her face through the tears. She brought her hand away from his hair and brushed it down his cheek softly, caressing his face.

"I'm just so sorry." He said, his voice almost a whisper, tears sitting on the edges of his eyes.

"I know," Tara whispered in return. She rested her forehead on his, closing her eyes again. "I'm sorry too. We were both stupid. Young and stupid."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And then they kissed again, and this time it was slower. Christian's hands found their way in to her hair, his fingers settling just at the bottom of her neck.

This time it just kept getting better and better.

* * *

"You know we need to talk things through, right?" Tara asked from her position against Christian's chest. They were sitting on the sofa in the common room. It was past midnight; everyone in the dorms was asleep except them. Only one light was on in the room. Everything was quiet and dim but it was perfect; just the two of them, Tara's ear against Christian's chest where she could hear his heartbeat and his arm fit just right around her body.

Tara continued, "we can't just be all couple-y again and act like nothing ever went wrong.…"

Christian was silent for a moment. She had been expecting him to tense up or let her go or try and avoid the subject, but instead he lifted his hand to twirl some of her hair around his finger. He didn't even flinch.

"I know." He said, his voice quiet but certain.

"The thing is…I don't even know where we went wrong," Tara brought her arm over his stomach and shuffled even closer. Almost as if, the closer she was, the less likely he was to run away.

He held her tighter in return, silently letting her know that he was staying.

"…I can't put my finger on it…," Tara finished.

"Neither can I," Christian admitted, letting his eyes fall. They were both talking quietly, so as to not wake up any of their housemates. "I…," he stammered, but he stopped his sentence halfway through.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's-it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Christian," Tara pushed gently, looking up at him for a moment. He looked at her, pulled his lips together and then sighed.

"I was just going to say that I…I feel like we don't tell each other enough. We don't communicate things. We're not open, you know?" Tara nodded, letting him continue. "I mean, I know I'm not exactly the _best_ at telling people how I feel, but…I could try and be better. Maybe.…"

She smiled softly. "I could try, too."

Christian smiled in return and threaded the fingers of his spare hand through the fingers of her hand on his stomach.

"And maybe we could not use the word 'pause' again." Christian joked. That joke was definitely a gamble but, luckily, Tara laughed.

"Definitely. And you need to tell me when I do something that freaks you out. I'm crap at realising it, as you might have guessed.…"

He smirked. That famous, infuriating, _irresistible_ smirk. It'd been too long since he'd smirked like that to Tara.

"Deal."

"And…one more thing?"

"Hit me."

"No more running away. For either of us."

Christian was silent for a moment, but then he nodded seriously. "Absolutely."

"No matter how much you want to…,"

"I won't."

"Neither will I."

There was a small beat of silence. "I'm sorry we were idiots," Tara said a few minutes later when her face was buried in to his chest again. He smelled so familiar; just like he always did. It was warm. Comforting. _Home_.

Christian chuckled, and Tara heard it in his chest. "We really were idiots, weren't we?"

"We were."

"I'm sorry about that, too. From now on…we should work together instead of against each other. Okay?"

"Okay."

Tara smiled.

Christian smiled.

And then he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment as Tara's eyes closed.

Soon his lips were trailing all down her face, and he realised that this might be his new favourite thing to do; to kiss her features all over and as much as he could; to reassure himself that she was here and she was his and he really, _really_ didn't want to let her go again. At all. Ever.

Soon his lips reached hers and he was kissing her, their lips moving together and their eyes fluttering closed. Tara sat up a little more so she could reach his lips easier, and as she did so Christian laid her back on the sofa. One of his hands firmly on her waist and the other holding himself up over her, he smiled. She ran her hands through his hair.

"Tara," Christian whispered against her lips before moving in to kiss her again.

"Mm," she mumbled in return.

They kissed like this for a while until Christian pulled away, in desperate need of some continued air. He rested his forehead against hers and brought his hand up to touch her face.

"It's been too long since we did this," He said, his eyes still closed.

Tara blushed a little and smiled shyly, slowly bringing her hands out from his hair. "We've never kissed quite like _this_ before…"

Christian smirked, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "Back at the farm, sometimes…" he kissed the skin in the hollow under her cheekbone.

"…I guess."

"Is this, you know…okay? I just…I'm struggling to hold myself back right now."

"I can tell," Tara grinned, kissing his nose. "And yes. It's fine. Perfect, actually."

Christian smiled. Now that they both had their breath back, he leaned back in and kissed her again.

For now, at least, everything felt how it should.

* * *

"You know the offer of the farm is still there, right?" Tara asked, swinging their joined hands in between them as they walked through the sunny park. It was 2pm, the day after the Prix De Fonteyn. Everything was hectic back at the academy, what with packing for the Christmas holidays. They had decided to take a break from it all.

Tara looked up at Christian. A tiny smile was on his face, the sun hitting his face at just the right angle. His eyes were sparkling. It was the most peaceful she had seen him in a really long time.

"I hadn't really thought about the holidays," Christian admitted sincerely. "Not since you mentioned it before, anyway."

Tara's eyes were on the ground again. "I know Barcelona is a pretty awesome option, and I know your dad is doing that trip thing, but…"

"…The farm's special, like I said."

She smiled up at him. "So…which are you gonna go for?"

"Well, seeing as _this_ is happening," he waved their joined hands in the air in front of them, making Tara giggle a little, "I don't really want to spend a long summer without you."

Tara had to stop herself from grinning like a little kid on Christmas morning. "So…you're coming? To the farm?"

Christian looked down at her and grinned when he saw the excited look on her face. He nodded, laughing a little. "I'm coming."

"Yay!" Tara practically bounced up and down as they walked. Christian laughed, squeezed her hand and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He pulled her closer and kissed the side of her head.

"Will your parents mind?" He asked.

"Are you kidding? Of course they won't. They _love_ you. Even dad; and that's saying a lot. You should've seen him with Ethan."

Christian laughed. "Really? They love me?"

"Of course. What's not to love?"

"Do you want an essay about that?"

Tara rolled her eyes. "Shut up. You're wonderful."

Scrunching his nose up, Christian tried to act playful, but Tara sensed there was a seriousness behind his next words. "Not really."

Tara stopped walking and looked up at him, a tiny frown on her face. Her arm was still around his waist even though she had half turned to face him.

Christian moved his eyes down to her. "What?" He asked innocently. "I was joking."

"It didn't sound like you were joking."

He looked away. "Okay…maybe I wasn't. Not entirely. But why does it matter? Let's not let it…ruin right now, yeah?"

Tara hesitated, taking a short breath in. And then she tightened her grip around him and nodded softly. "Okay. But I love you. You know that."

"I know. I love you too."

"And this summer is going to be _great_."

Christian's face screwed up again, but he didn't speak.

"What's that face for?"

"It's just…I don't do well with expectations. Can we just…I don't know…take each day as it comes?" He scratched the back of his head nervously. "That sounds so cheesy, but…"

"I like it," Tara stopped him, smiling softly up at him. She looked away for a moment in mock-thought, her mouth still in a curve. "It's…new. Maybe it'll work better for us."

Christian smiled too. One of those smiles he only saved for Tara.

They kept walking.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Helloooo! So, I am a massive Tristian mess at the moment, and this idea came to me when I was watching the episode ("The Red Shoes")! I really wish they'd been endgame in this season (in any season, actually) so I felt like it'd make me feel better to write them an alternative ending :') This is most likely going to be a two-shot - we'll see them at the farm in the next chapter - and depending how long my Tristian streak lasts, it might go on for longer!_

 _I hope you enjoyed it; do let me know what you think in a review. Don't forget to follow so you know when I update! :)_

 _Love :* xxx_


	2. Back

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dance Academy.

* * *

Christian inhaled a deep breath as he stepped out of the car. When he let it out, he smiled, looking around at the familiar scene spread before him.

"That fresh country air," He said, watching as Tara walked around to his side of the car. "What is it that makes it so special?"

"I think that's cow dung." Neal joked, and Christian laughed. He put his arm over Tara's shoulder; she was smiling up at him.

Moments later, the front door opened and out came Jan, a familiar grin on her face at the sight of her daughter.

"Hi!" Tara said excitedly, letting go of Christian and running forward to hug her mum.

"Hey sweetheart," Jan said softly, hugging her back. "And I see you brought my favourite City Boy!" She let Tara go after kissing her cheek and headed for Christian, her arms already outstretched for a hug.

Christian smiled, slightly shyly, and hugged her back. "Nice to see you, Mrs. Webster. Thanks for having me stay again."

"Oh, please, Christian…call me Jan!" Jan exclaimed, pulling back and cupping his face in her hands for a moment. "It's so nice to see you! You look well."

He smiled at her as she began to step away. "Thanks."

"It's probably the fact he got to sit in the back with Tara the whole journey here." Neal quipped. Tara blushed and Christian smiled awkwardly.

"Neal," Jan scolded, "leave the couple be. It's nice to see them happy." But she was grinning as she watched him walk around to the boot of the car.

"Christian, give me a hand with these cases, would you?" Neal asked, reaching in to pick up Tara's purple suitcase. It was large and heavy and probably over-filled.

Christian walked over to help him and Jan called Tara in to help her make drinks.

After they had all recovered from the journey with teas and coffees, Tara and Christian took their suitcases up to their rooms. Their rooms were opposite each other at the very end of the upstairs hallway. Tara's room had an en suite bathroom—it used to be her parent's room, until they decided it was more practical to be on the other end of the hall where there was a staircase leading directly outside to the cow barn.

Tara struggled to get her door open whilst battling both of her suitcases, but once she managed it, her face spread in to a small, bittersweet smile. One of the last times she'd been in this bed, her back had been so sore and she wasn't sure if she'd even be able to dance like she used to, let alone go back to the place where all her dreams became reality…the Academy.

"You okay?" Tara heard Christian's voice behind her when he got to his own door. She realised she'd been standing there for a few minutes, just staring at her own room.

Turning quickly around, her face lit in to a small smile when she saw his face.

"Yeah, fine. Just…thinking about the last time I was here." It was nice to be honest with him about what she was thinking.

His brow twitched as if he wanted to frown, and he let go of his suitcase so he could lean on her door frame and watch her carefully.

He wanted to speak, but he didn't know what to say.

"I remember thinking…," Tara continued hesitantly, not meeting his eye. "…all of these people were calling me and texting me but I…all I wanted was to be silent. To run away from everything.… And maybe every _one_."

This time, Christian really did frown. "I'm…"

"Sorry?" Tara questioned. Surprisingly, a tiny smile was on her lips. "Stop apologising. I know you're sorry. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay!" Christian's voice raised, and he shocked himself with it. Raising his voice made it seem like he was angry at her, but he wasn't, not at all; he was angry with himself. For letting it all fall apart. For letting Tara get away. For not being there for her.… He should have been by her side the whole time. Not in a sense that she needed him; more like, he knew it would've been easier without him breaking her heart at the same time as she broke her back.

Christian Reed: always throwing away good things.

Tara waited for him to speak, but all she saw was the hurt look in his eyes; the conflict written all over his face.

So instead of saying anything else, she walked forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close in to a hug and putting her hand in his hair.

"Stop feeling like the bad guy," she said quietly.

"What if I am the bad guy." It wasn't a question.

She held him tighter. "It wasn't all your fault. Us falling apart wasn't all down to you. Okay?"

He didn't reply for a moment. Instead, he buried his head in to her neck and kissed the skin there, trying to let the feel of her arms around him bring him comfort. (This was one good thing about them being almost the same height; burying faces in to necks. Kissing jaw lines. Hands in hair.)

"I feel like we should start over," Tara started after a few moments of silence. Her grip on him had loosened now; he was doing most of the holding. Tara continued stroking his hair comfortingly. "…But only from the bad stuff. We should remember all the good stuff, you know? Does…does that make sense?"

Christian nodded. He kissed her neck again. "Definitely... Love you." He mumbled, and Tara felt it on her skin.

"Love you too. Now come on," she let him go and took a step back. Her hand lingered in his hair for a small moment before she let it fall away, and she was smiling at him again. "We should probably unpack. Otherwise it'll end up sitting there for days.… Maybe even weeks, knowing you."

Christian smirked, and it was a welcome sight for Tara. "Okay."

That night, Tara couldn't sleep.

* * *

In fact, most nights nowadays, Tara couldn't sleep.

She would always lie awake until the early hours—usually 3 or 4am. Even back in her own bed at home, in her own room and in familiar surroundings, she was still facing the insomnia.

Deciding to go downstairs and get a drink, Tara slowly opened her bedroom door. Once she had closed it silently behind her, she turned and realised that Christian's door had been left slightly open.

"Christian?" She whispered, poking her head in to his room, only to find that it was empty. The duvet on his bed was pulled back.

Tara frowned and headed downstairs anyway, expecting she would find him down there.

But, when she stepped in to the kitchen and sleepily turned one of the corner lamps on, he was nowhere to be found. However, she noticed that the patio door was unlocked. This door opened out on to the patio, but after the patio there was a little dirt path up to the spot on the hill where Tara and Christian had sat all that time ago, right before second year started.

Frowning to herself, Tara put the pieces together. Christian had gone outside; most likely because he couldn't sleep, either.

She glanced at the coat hangers by the door and saw that his jacket was still sitting there on the hook. Even though it was the start of summer, the clear-sky nights on the farm were often chilly, especially if you were just sitting still out there. Tara knew from experience to always take a jacket, even if it doesn't feel cold at first.

She pulled on her jacket and her wellington boots and quickly grabbed a blanket from the living room. And then, with the full moon big and bright enough that she didn't need a torch, she followed the path up to the field, making sure to lock the door behind her.

Christian was sitting at the peak of the hill where the space opened up to reveal a view of the whole countryside. (In the day, at least; at night, the view was pretty much pointless).

Tara's brow furrowed when she saw him, her eyes turning sad. Once she had walked closer towards him, she saw goose bumps on his arms as he sat there with his knees up at his chest, his arms wrapped around them.

Without saying anything, she gently laid the blanket around his shoulders.

For a moment he looked up at her. Even in the dark, she could see the shadows under his eyes and the sadness on his face.

Neither of them needed to ask one another why they were awake. Ever since Sammy, they'd both been having trouble sleeping; at night, it all seemed more real. More painful. More _raw_.  
Tara thought that maybe it was because, at night, there's nothing to distract you.

Without saying anything, Tara sat next to him, their shoulders brushing. She didn't look at him. He didn't look at her.  
But everything felt better now they were close.

It was silent for a moment.

"When I was little," Tara started, "I used to beg mum and dad to let me stay up late so I could come out and see the stars when the sky was at its darkest. They're always better in summer. And I'd make a wish, of course. And I would lie out here for ages, just looking at them; wondering how big space was and how many of those stars were magical."

There was a pause, but then Christian took a breath to speak. "Things were simpler as kids." His voice was shaky.

Tara smiled sadly. "Yeah, they were."

"Well…sort of. I guess. Simpler than now, at least."

Not knowing what to say to make it better, to make the pain stop, Tara decided to just reach out and take his hand. She threaded their fingers together and squeezed, smiling softly when he shuffled closer and squeezed back.

Tara was afraid that, if she looked at him, he'd be crying. She'd never seen Christian cry before, but the way his voice was shaking and unsteady made it sound like he already was.

After a few more minutes of silence, Tara laid back on the grass, letting her hand gently pull on his so he would lie down too.

"I used to try and see what shapes I could find," Tara continued, grabbing at straws, hoping to try and lighten the air a bit. "Dad taught me about the constellation that looks like a spoon when I was little."

"I never really got to see stars in the city," Christian said. "Out here, they're amazing."

"Especially at 1am."

"Especially at 1am." Christian agreed, and she could hear the slight smirk in his voice.

Shuffling even closer, Tara rested her head on his shoulder blade and pressed her face up against his neck, one eye still on the sky. After a few minutes, Christian gently sat her up a little before wrapping the other half of his blanket around her and then lying her down again.

"Thank you." Tara whispered, grateful for the extra warmth.

"You're welcome.… I never understood the swan constellation," Christian said. He was still staring up at the sky, squinting slightly. "I've never been able to see it."

"Me either. Dad used to spend hours trying to get me to see it."

Christian laughed a little. He held her closer and brought his finger up to twirl some of her hair around it.

"Sammy would've loved this view." Christian said, and Tara felt his voice in his throat.

Sadly, Tara nodded. Tears stung her eyes. She willed them away, but they stayed, threatening to fall any minute. "He would have." Her voice was suddenly thick with tears, and Christian held her tighter. Tara reciprocated by putting her arm over his stomach.

They lay like this for a while, feeling like they were a million miles away from the rest of the world. Like this _was_ their own world; up here in the field that was far away from anything and everything.

It wasn't until they both started feeling sleepy that they decided it was time to go back to bed. They walked back to the house with arms around each other and the blanket shared nicely between them.

"You didn't have to come out," Christian said once they were back in the kitchen. Tara was shivering, so Christian slipped his shoes off and then securely wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, bringing her in for a hug.

She didn't hug him back because she was holding the two sides of the blanket together; so she just leaned in to him and closed her eyes against his shoulder.

"I know," she said, "I wanted to, though. Was that okay?"

He nodded. "It was perfect." And he brought his hand up to hold the back of her head. His eyes were closed, too.

"Good." She mumbled.

"…I guess we should go back to bed now."

"It is…," Tara glanced up at the clock, "2.30am."

Christian sighed. He kissed the top of Tara's head and then reluctantly pulled away.

"Come on."

"Sleepy." Tara mumbled again, her eyes half open.

Christian smirked, taking her hand and gently pulling her out of the kitchen. On his way out he turned off the light.

When they got up the stairs, Christian led her to her room and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'd ask you to stay with me," Tara mumbled sleepily, "but my dad's too smart not to put the pieces together in the morning."

"Well, I don't know...," he started, and Tara could hear the smirk in his voice without needing to properly opening her eyes. "I'm pretty good at covering my tracks."

Tara smiled softly. "True." Her eyes were half open.

"It's okay, Training Bra," Christian reached up and brushed a bit of her hair behind her ear. "We should probably be on the safe side."

"Maybe another night." Her eyes were a little more open now and she was looking in to his, a sparkle behind them.

Christian smiled. "Yeah. Maybe.… Goodnight, Training Bra." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. And then, of course, he trailed his lips down her nose before reaching her lips and leaving a small, soft kiss there.

"Night, Christian." She started walking backwards in to her room, holding his hand until the last moment before she shut her door.

They both slept well after that.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Hellooooo! Sorry this update took me a while. I was hoping it would be at most a week but, alas, I couldn't do it. But still, it's not been too long I suppose!_

 _Thank you all for your lovely reviews on the first chapter, I'm super glad you enjoyed it. I hope you liked this chapter too - as always, please do leave a review and let me know what you think. :)_

 _There will be a next chapter! :)_

 _Love :* xxx_


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